I hate all girls vehemently.
Duck Duck Cougar?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
