is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize