I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
