Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
