We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
