My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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