Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
