i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
