If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
