if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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