thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
