i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize