Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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