Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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