She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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