I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
