Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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