Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
