So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
