I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize