My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
organizing the empties. That sober.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
