highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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