that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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