i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
