the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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