so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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