I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
