I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
