i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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