I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I could fuck to npr.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
