Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
