What a fucking waste of an outfit
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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