Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This baby is an asshole
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
