My sheets look like a crime scene.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
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