I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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