Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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