Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
