ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize