So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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