just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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