I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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