they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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