Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
