i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
