That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
