i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
