I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
