That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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