The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
