drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize