what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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