the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
