we're chasing vodka with high fives
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
