I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Come see our sink grown plant.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
