We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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