I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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