If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
