They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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