Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
