But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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