I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
