you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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