WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize