i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
